[Cohen stands. For the first time. He doesn't need the table. He has the rules memorized. He wrote the first version of them himself, in a different building, for a different audience, a long time ago. He has never said that out loud until now.]
The Rules
RULE ONE:

There is only one judge.

Not Congress. Not the Constitution. Certainly not the Courts. Not the electorate, the free press, the Joint Chiefs, the Inspector General, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, or the accumulated institutional wisdom of two hundred and fifty years of republican government.

One judge.

You know who it is.

RULE TWO:

Loyalty is not a quality that is rewarded.

Loyalty is the entry fee.

Everything after that is performance.

RULE THREE:

You will not be fired for failing. You will not be fired for lying. You will not be fired for incompetence, corruption, negligence, or the accidental transmission of classified strike coordinates to a journalist on social media.

You will be fired for one thing and one thing only.

Making – or allowing – the host to look bad.

[He pauses.]
Ask Pam Bondi how the client list is doing.
Or the Stock Market.
RULE FOUR:

The producer's note will always be warm.

'Great American Patriot. Loyal friend. Tremendous person. We love them. They will be transitioning to an exciting new opportunity in the private sector.'

Don't confuse the warmth for sentiment.

It's not about anyone's capacity for feeling or for mercy.

The hammer is the point, not what they wrap it with after.

RULE FIVE:
[He looks at the camera for a long moment, even the camera gets uncomfortable.]

There is no Rule Five.

And all other rules are subject to Rule Five.

The rules exist when he says they do. They protect you until they don't.

This is not a bug in the system.

This is the system.

[He sits back down. Opens the folder. We still cannot see what's inside.]
You were warned.
Now meet the contestants.
End of Section Four